Healing Trauma: How EMDR Therapy Is The Real Deal

There are many debates in the health world - nature versus nurture, are diagnostic labels helpful or harmful, medical model versus holistic mental health care, medication versus therapy for primary treatment - but one thing that most people seem to agree on in the entire health realm is the effectiveness of EMDR therapy. I have to admit, I was very skeptical, myself, until I repeatedly saw it work firsthand.

My basic knowledge of EMDR therapy was this - traditionally, the counselor moves their arm side to side as the client follows with their eyes while processing a traumatic memory. Even during my training with all the research on the pages in front of me, I thought this sounded like a bit of hocus pocus. I felt ridiculous moving my arm around and repeatedly asking “what’s coming up for you this time? Let’s go with that.” Being a trauma and grief therapist, though, I was excited. I often have clients say "I just don't know what to say about it anymore - I feel stuck." EMDR seemed to be the answer. In our initial training, we practiced with peers. I didn’t have a great experience with the peer I was training with. The textbook knowledge was there, but I felt my the practical skills lacking. Regardless of leaving training frustrated, I kept practicing with others and pressing on to deepen my comfortability with EMDR.

My roller coaster of experiences with EMDR

After tons of research, I found an EMDR counselor I thought I’d connect with, I scheduled an appointment, and showed up eager to work through my trauma. Further, I wanted to get some exposure on the client side of the couch before advertising myself as an EMDR therapist. Unfortunately, my experience there was pretty awful. Part of EMDR preparation includes a trauma timeline. Personally, I like to do this in a more relaxed way, but every counselor will have their own style. We began with a very formal and straightforward bullet point list of all of my trauma, and as I was discussing some pretty significant physical abuse, the counselor put her hand on my thigh and said “I’m so sorry” with pity in her voice. As a therapist myself, I know this is a big no no, but even just as a client sitting on that couch, I was deeply uncomfortable. I never scheduled another session.

I’m a firm believer in personally trying something before recommending it, and I had given up at this point. Then came COVID shutdown. I filed EMDR training into the “waste of money” folder and moved on with my life.

A lot of life happened in the in-between, and as more time went on, my confidence in my EMDR skills had decreased. I hadn’t practiced as much as I had wanted to, and my experiences as a client weren't ideal. I didn’t think I’d pick it back up. When the world began moving again and we all finally started finding normal, I had a new client request EMDR, and then another, and then another. Even though I felt very rusty, I did have the training and qualifications under my belt. I thought - why not? From there, I brushed up on my books, followed the procedure, and we got to work. Fortunately, I witnessed so much healing happen with that new client, and then the next, and then the next, and so on. It’s safe to say I’m a huge believer now.

So what is EMDR anyway?

The goal of EMDR has evolved to not only reduce intrusiveness of thoughts, but also to restructure beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world we live in. It works by targeting our physiologically-based information processing system which is responsible for storing memories in an accessible and useful form.

There are eight phases in EMDR which you can read in more detail here. In brief, we typically begin by gathering information and exploring goals in an intake session. Here, we’ll explore memories or thoughts, patterns, and values that we can target in EMDR therapy. I'll have you identify a negative cognition. For example, "I'm not good enough" seems to weaved itself in patterns throughout your life. Further, you'll define how you want to view yourself instead - "I am fine as I am and I deserve happiness". Then we can focus on establishing safety through grounding techniques. This may take several sessions, although some clients want to dive in a bit quicker. In EMDR, you’re in the driver’s seat. While EMDR is a bit more structured than some other therapies, there’s always flexibility for personalizing our approach.

In the desensitization phase, we start bilateral stimulation while you envision the memory you’ve chosen. This can be done in several ways. Personally, I like letting you close your eyes and using the tappers which you can read more about here. I’ve had several clients prefer to tap their knees - like I said, you’re in the driver’s seat. Once the memory no longer feels disturbing, we install the positive or neutral belief to the target memory. Sometimes we aren’t able to reach the installation phase in each session. Regardless, we will make sure to form a sense of closure and safety.

There is no magic wand, unfortunately, but there are a few tools that we can use to help us move forward - EMDR therapy being one of them. I like to think of EMDR as undressing a festering wound, cleaning it out, and redressing it properly. That hurts, but it's worth it. We can rewrite the narratives that we've developed, break old patterns, and heal. If you don't have a good experience the first time, don't give up. Not every counselor will be a good fit, and that's alright. See a list of counselors on our team who are trained in EMDR therapy here.